


You Belong With Me (Dan & Phil x Reader)

by VandaPanda17



Category: Amazingphil - Fandom, Danisnotonfire - Fandom, Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), dan and phil
Genre: Based on a Taylor Swift Song, Christmas, F/M, Fluff, Friendship, Holidays, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Original Character(s), Romance, Romantic Comedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-23
Updated: 2016-12-27
Packaged: 2018-09-11 09:46:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 19,698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8974738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VandaPanda17/pseuds/VandaPanda17
Summary: "I live with Dan, I've been best friends with him for over five years now. I can tell you the ins and outs and shortcuts to win his heart. I'll be the best wingman you've ever had!"After Phil discovers that you have a crush on Dan, he offers to help by being your wingman. He sets you up and encourages you throughout your  quest to gain Dan's attention. Nothing could possibly go wrong, right?





	1. Wingman

**Author's Note:**

> I've been watching Dan and Phil for a few years now and always wanted to lowkey make a fanfic, so here it is. I actually wrote this back in June right after I got to see them on stage for TATINOF. I guess I had a lot of feelings from experiencing that and actually seeing them live, so I was particularly inspired and I wrote this fic in under a week.
> 
> They make me happy and this fic was fun to write, so I hope others will enjoy it. The story is set in London, England, in the months of November and December (dat Christmas aesthetic).
> 
> Important Note: SparklesofSunshine in this story is a completely made up character and she is not SparklesofGlitter. I'm just unoriginal and couldn't think of a better name, lol. 
> 
> -Story Playlist-  
> Track 1. You Belong With Me by Taylor Swift  
> Track 2. Distance by Christina Perri  
> Track 3. End of the Day by One Direction  
> Track 4. Kill the Director by The Wombats  
> Track 5. Invisible by Chester See

"What makes you say that?" you asked shrilly, feeling a blush appear across your cheeks. You shuffled away from Phil on the sofa, trying to keep your composure.

"It's so obvious!" Phil exclaimed in response, his voice rising amusement. He chuckled lightly, a grin on his face.

You pursed your lips together as thoughts ran through your head. How were you going to proceed next?

You and Phil were lounging in your flat, sitting together on the sofa in your living room. He had come over to make pancakes and watch a movie with you, and you were having a good time until he decided to ruin it by asking about your top secret: your crush on Dan.

"Is it really that obvious...?" you asked in a hushed voice, eyes downcast.

"Aha!" Phil yelled, straightening up in his seat immediately. He pointed at you excitedly. "So you admit it, I was right!"

You groaned, mentally slapping yourself for falling for his trap. "Fine, I do!" you officially admitted. "I like Dan. I've liked him for a while now."

"How long is a while?" Phil asked, turning his body to face you completely, an arm resting over the top of the sofa. You reached for the remote control on the coffee table and turned down the movie you two had been watching.

"Basically since I met him."

Phil wiggled his eyebrows, "Ooooh."

You reached over to lightly slap his forearm, "Shut up."

It was true, though, you have had a crush on Dan since you met him. Well, you always lowkey had a crush on him before that too, back when you watched him from behind a laptop screen. You always tried to suppress this crush, naturally, because it wasn't going to go anywhere.

He was a famous Youtube celebrity with five million subscribers, and you were just a random travel blogger with a fanbase that didn't even make up a 1/10 of his.

See what happened was, you had started travel blogging back in your late teens as a result of a study abroad stint you did in Europe which left a lasting impression on you.

You weren't able to study in London since it was out of your budget, so you opted on Edinburgh and eventually took a week-long trip to England's capital at the end of your term. Preparation for that was what made you discover Danisnotonfire on Youtube, and wow, you were in love.

Now a college graduate and full time blogger, you sought out opportunities to base yourself in London and by the grace of God you were contacted by a study abroad organisation. This led to you being hired as one of their ambassadors and social media specialists. This was three months ago and, of course, you jumped on the job.

A chance to be fully employed in a field you liked right out of college? Hell yeah.

The unexpected part of all this, however, was the fact that after you finished moving into your new fully furnished flat (which sucked the soul out of your bank account, by the way), you decided to say hello to some of your neighbours who lived around you. The next door neighbours went well, it was the neighbour across the hall that made you almost faint.

Phil actually answered the door that day and you thought that he looked vaguely familiar, but you weren't able to pinpoint where you've seen him before.

\-----

_"Hello," you said, waving shyly up to the tall, blue-eyed boy who stood in the doorway before you. "I'm (Y/N) and I just moved into the apartment across from you."_

_"Oh, a new neighbour!" he replied, his face lighting up. "And you're American?" he asked, noting your accent._

_You nodded, "Yeah! I just wanted to say hi and tell you that I exist," you laughed._

_"Of course! I'm Phil, by the way," he reached out for a handshake, which you gave him. That name rang a bell and you looked up at him again, a million thoughts running through your head at that moment._

_"I have a flatmate as well, let me get him for you." You nodded again, keeping a smile on your face as you started to get an odd feeling._

_"Hey, Dan," Phil yelled over his shoulder, leaning back a bit. "Come meet our new neighbour."_

_You heard another distinctly British voice reply, "Oh, what!" and it was at that moment you made the connection in your mind._

_"Wait, your name is Phil."_

_"Yes?"_

_"And you have a flatmate named Dan."_

_Phil's face formed a smirk of acknowledgement, realising that you were a Phan, but before he could say anything Dan appeared by his side, "Hey, nice to meet you! I'm Dan."_

_You could only stare, frozen and completely starstruck._

\-----

"(Y/N), (Y/N)? Earth to (Y/N)," Phil waved his hands back and forth in front of your face, snapping you out of your thoughts.

Thinking about Dan and how you first met him always made you giddy on the inside. It was surreal and occasionally you had to remind yourself that you actually lived on the same floor as your idol.

"What?" you asked, turning your attention to Phil.

"I asked, 'So what are you going to do about it?'"

You gave him a blank stare, "Nothing."

"Nothing? What do you mean?"

"I mean what I said," you leaned back into the sofa and stared up at your ceiling, sighing.

"What's the point? I'm sure Dan is already involved with someone else anyway."

Phil laughed at this, causing you to glance his way.

"Dan isn't involved with anyone, you silly goose. He's too busy being awkward and not leaving his room to actually meet anyone."

"Uh, are you sure?"

"I think so," Phil said this while donning a serious face, staring upwards to the side in contemplation. "I'm pretty sure."

You nodded, feeling slightly relieved at the news, yet also more anxious. "Even so, I don't think I stand a chance. It's like being in high school again, it's horrible."

"Oh, that is, but hey, you and Dan are already friends so you have a head start, right?"

"Doesn't feel like it," you mumbled back, feeling slightly discouraged already. All throughout high school you've had extremely bad luck with your crushes. Either no one liked you or they simply didn't know you existed. College wasn't much different.

"You're mumbling, Dan mumbles a lot too. See, you're destined to be together!" Phil said this in an enthusiastic tone, smiling widely as he flailed his arms around to make his point. He was obviously trying to cheer you up, and well, it worked. That was something Phil was always good at.

You let out a small laugh and looked at him, "I guess."

"I have an idea."

"...an idea?"

"Yes," Phil straightened up in his seat and inched forward towards you. "What if I'm your wingman?"

"What?" Wingman? What did he mean by that?

"I live with Dan, I've been best friends with him for over five years now. I can tell you the ins and outs and shortcuts to win his heart. I'll be the best wingman you've ever had. Well, I guess that would make me more of a matchmaker..."

You looked at him, wide-eyed, not believing his proposition. You never had a boyfriend before and considering how much pursuing Dan intimidated you, having Phil on your side would make things much smoother.

Right?

"But what if he doesn't like me?" you groaned and turned to press your face into the back of your sofa, making exaggerated sobbing sounds.

"What is there not to like?" Phil replied. "Pep up, (Y/N), you have to stay positive," he placed a hand on your shoulder as a gesture of support. "Look, I've got a plan. They don't call me AmazingPhil for nothing, you know."

"All right, Phil..." you said hesitantly, peeking up at him, he returned your gaze with a soft smile.

"I'm trusting you, my life is in your hands. I hope you know what you're doing."

Phil gave you a thumbs up and a reassuring nod, "I got this." 


	2. Hot Chocolate

Phil: _"Dan is at the anime store on Oxford right now, you should go and 'accidentally' run into him!"_

That was the text that Phil had sent to you less than twenty minutes ago, while you were conveniently wandering around Piccadilly Circus shopping for Christmas presents. It was late November and you weren't planning on returning to the United States for holiday, mainly due to finances, so you wanted to get a head start on buying and sending gifts over to your family and friends at home.

 _"Wouldn't it be awkward?"_ you had texted back, though your feet were already walking towards Oxford Street.

Phil: _"Don't be ridiculous, you were already nearby anyway. It would be a total coincidence!"_

 _A total coincidence, huh?_ You thought to yourself, staring up at the building which housed the anime store Dan was supposedly in. You swallowed.

_How am I going to walk in and make it seem totally natural and not like I'm stalking him?_

Phil's plan as 'wingman' was simply to notify you of Dan's whereabouts every now and then so you could score alone time with him. It was quite opportunistic, but Phil didn't see anything wrong with it. He always spaced them out so Dan wouldn't notice either.

Today was probably your third attempt so far. You always texted Phil each time, usually to ask for advice. It was a wonder you didn't have an anxiety attack each and every time you found yourself alone with Dan, especially now with the new agenda. Usually you, Dan, and Phil hung out together as a trio, and even then it wasn't too often. You were busy with your job and so were they.

"(Y/N)?" you heard your name being called out and your eyes danced around hesitantly, unsure. _Did someone just call my name?_ _What?_ You turned and instantly spotted Dan standing a few yards away.

"D-Dan?" you choked back, completely caught off guard. He was supposed to be inside the store!

You thought he was going to walk over to you, which he was, but not before turning away from you momentarily to say goodbye to someone you didn't realise he was with. The pavement was crowded with shoppers so you couldn't quite make out who the person was, minus the fact she was a girl. 

You couldn't hear them, but eventually they parted ways and Dan was then by your side.

"What are you doing here?" he asked after giving you a quick hug. His eyes glanced down at the bags you held in your hands. "Shopping?"

"Yeah! I, uh, Christmas is coming up quick, you know?" you managed to say. You didn't feel like a total liar and Dan accepted your answer without much doubt, which was good.

You decided to elaborate, "I'm not going home for Christmas, so I'm buying stuff early to send them so they'd get there on time."

Dan nodded, "Are you done shopping already?"

"More or less," you answered, stepping to the side to get out of people's way. "What about you? Are you shopping too?"

"Nah, not yet. I procrastinate so hard, I don't buy anything until the day of, to be honest." Dan let out a hearty laugh that drifted off into the classic Defeated Dan laugh, and you followed suit. You loved his laugh, be it sarcastic or genuinely amused, his laughs were contagious and adorable to you.

You could feel your cheeks turning hot and you knew you were starting to blush, you cursed at yourself.

"Oh, are you cold?" Dan said, gesturing towards your reddening face.

You nodded and went along with it, you'd rather he not know the truth.

"There's a Starbucks up the street, let's go get something hot to drink and warm up a bit before heading home. That is if you are heading home?"

"Oh, I am! That sounds like a good idea, let's do it. I've been craving some hot chocolate," you replied. _Not really, but why miss this chance to spend more time with him?_   _Also, Phil said he liked hot chocolate._

As Dan led the way and you followed, you quietly grinned to yourself. You were going to get hot chocolate with Dan and it was so romantic - - even if he didn't know it.

You stayed closely behind Dan and weaved in and out of the crowd, meanwhile you managed to get out your phone and text Phil.

You: _"Going to Starbucks w Dan!_ _Wish me luck_ _pls_ _"_

Phil: _"Of course, (Y/N)! And don't forget to tell me everything!"_

You: _"Thx, Phil :)"_

You eventually made it into Starbucks and Dan ordered two tall hot chocolates for the both of you.

"Dan, you didn't have to pay!" you exclaimed as he shuffled you to the end of the counter to wait for your drinks.

"It's not a problem, we're friends!"

"Y-yeah, but - -"

"If it makes you feel better than next time you can buy me one."

"Deal," you replied, though a part of you was happy about the fact that Dan paid for your drink. Perhaps it meant something? Possibly?

 _"We're friends!"_ Dan's words replayed in your head. _Hopefully I can change that_ , you said to yourself.

Dan looked around the area momentarily before gesturing towards one end of the room, "There's an empty table there, let's go sit," he suggested. You agreed and the two of you went to occupy the small table that was situated in a cosy corner.

Dan took a seat and you followed suit, setting your shopping bags down on the floor by your seat. The shop was bustling with activity, which made sense since it was in a major shopping area. You settled in your seat and casually glanced at the customers around you.

You unbuttoned your jacket and turned your attention back to Dan, who was on his phone.

"Making a tweet?" you asked.

"Yup," he replied, finalising the tweet before setting his cellphone down on the table. "So what did you buy?"

"Oh," you glanced down at the bags by your feet and lightly rummaged your hand through them. "Nothing too fancy, some scarves and chocolates and stuff. Everything is so expensive here."

Dan laughed, "Welcome to London."

"What about you? What were you doing, I never see you leave your apartment," you said this with a grin, recalling how much of a recluse he was.

"Oh I was hanging out with a friend actually, I'm not sure if you saw her earlier."

You thought back to the girl that Dan was saying goodbye to, "Ah, I vaguely did."

"Yeah, she's a fellow Youtuber. Not sure if you heard of SparklesofSunshine before?"

"Oh, no," you shook your head. "I'm not really in the YouTube community, to be honest. I watch you and Phil, and some random American Youtubers now and then but not enough for me to be considered 'in'," you made air quotations with both hands as you said this.

"Ah, you should check her out then! She's hilarious," Dan assured. "She's trying to make a musical right now, that's what we were talking about today."

Your eyebrows peaked with interest, "A musical?"

"Yeah, she's thinking about casting me and Phil. Hey, she might be looking for extras, would you like to--"

Laughing, you immediately cut Dan off and waved a hand at him. "Oh dear god, no," you said. "I'm too awkward to be in front of a camera. I'm a blogger and not a vlogger for a reason."

As you said this, suddenly you heard Dan's name being called out across the room. Your drinks were ready.

Dan started to rise from his seat but you held a hand out, "I'll get them!" you said. Dan thanked you and sat back down.

You stood up and started walking over to the counter where other people were picking up their drinks as well. As you waited for the small crowd to disperse so you could easily slide in, you decided to text Phil.

You: _"I think everything is going well"_

Phil: _"Is it! That's great to hear! What are you guys doing?"_

You: _"Ordered hot chocolate, I'm about to pick them up. U and Dan r gonna be in a musical?"_

Phil: _"Oh, yeah, with_ _SparklesofSunshine_ _! She's awesome."_

You looked at your text. _Well, if even Phil says so then it must be true_. You told yourself to check out her videos when you get home.

You: _"I'll check her out. Anyway, things r going well with Dan."_

Phil sent you another text that was nothing but boar emojis. You smiled to yourself before putting your phone back into your pocket. He always sent weird and random emojis.

Truth be told, you felt a little awkward with Dan at first, but only because you didn't know what to expect. But Dan was the same old Dan as though it were you, him, and Phil hanging out together.

You scolded yourself for worrying over nothing. You two were friends, why would things be weird?

You felt your phone buzz. Must be Phil. You decided to check later, as you now had an opening to pick up your drinks. With two hot chocolates in your hands, you headed back to the table where Dan was waiting.

You greeted him with a smile and handed him his cup.

"Thanks, (Y/N)!" Dan said, reaching for it.

And then it happened. 

It just happened.

You let go of the cup just as Dan was about to grasp his hand around it, but your timing could not have been worse. You watched the cup slip down and hit the table with a light thud, before tipping over towards Dan.

The lid popped off and a wave of steaming hot chocolate came pouring out over the table and spilling over onto Dan's lap.

"Ow!" Dan immediately jumped up and out of his seat in reflex, bumping into you as he snatched his phone off the table to save it from getting wet. The sudden movement startled you and caused your own drink to slip from your hand.

"Oh my god, oh my god!" Dan yelled, awkwardly standing next to you with his arms outstretched as he looked down at his drenched skinny jeans.

"Oh no!" you let out a yelp as your cup collided with the table and its contents threatened to spill into your shopping bags. You immediately reached down and pulled them out of the way, relieved that you got to them on time.

But then you realised what you had just done to Dan. "Oh my god, I am so sorry!" you exclaimed loudly. At this point, a few other customers were looking your way but you were too focused on Dan to really notice.

"I'm so sorry!" you said again. You frantically ran back to the counter and snatched up as many napkins as you could, apologising to people you bumped into. Which was everyone. 

You ran back to Dan, pressing the napkins against his legs and his jumper.

"Um, (Y/N)..."

Amidst your panic, you caught yourself and looked up at him questioningly as he gave you an awkward smile. 

A really awkward smile.

You stared at your hands. 

"Oh shit," you said. "Oh, I am so sorry. I am so sorry."

You removed your hands from Dan's lower body immediately and instead slammed the napkins onto the table, trying to wipe up the large pool of hot chocolate. In doing so, you managed to knock one of the cups off the table, however, and it plopped into the floor next to Dan's feet, splattering some hot chocolate onto his shoes.

That was the final straw. You stared at his shoes in horror before glancing up at his face, your body was frozen. You couldn't tell what he was thinking. What was that expression he had on his face? Was it humiliation? Was it amusement? Irritation?

You did know one thing: you had to leave. Immediately.

"I'm sorry," you said for the fifth time, dropping the napkins on the table. You backed away from Dan. "I--" you didn't even finish your statement as you pivoted around and walked out as fast as you could.

Dan stood there dumbstruck, "W-wait! (Y/N)!" he tried to call out but you were already gone and out the door.

A Starbucks employee approached Dan at that moment with a mop and bucket.

"Oh thank you," Dan said apologetically, awkwardly moving out of his way and internally sighing. "I'm really sorry for this mess, it was an accident."

"No worries, sir!" the employee said.

"Thank y--" Dan was about to say again before he cut himself off at the sight of you. You had come back.

Giving him a severely uncomfortable grin, you shuffled your way over by the two of them and reached down for your shopping bags.

"I forgot my bags," you muttered through a forced smile, embarrassed to the max.

Dan stared unblinking, as he watched you disappear through the crowd and out the store for a second time.  
\-----

You ran all the way to the nearest Tube entrance and descended into the underground, wanting nothing but to go home. _I_ _just_ _spilt hot chocolate all over him, oh my god, I'm such a clumsy idiot!_

The events played through your head over and over as you waited for the next ride to arrive, making you relive the embarrassment. You briskly paced around the platform in circles, unable to stay still from all the adrenaline. Every now and then you'd look over your shoulder, hoping Dan hadn't caught up to you somehow.

You couldn't bear to let him see you and you really didn't want to see him either.

You felt your phone buzz again in your pocket and your heart sank, was it him? Slowly you reached in and pulled it out, turning on the screen.

"Oh, thank god," you let out an audible sigh of relief.

It was just Phil.

Phil: _"Progress update? Everything is going splendid, I bet!"_

You: _"Yeah, about that..."_


	3. Progress Meeting

"(Y/N)! Open up, I know you're home," Phil yelled through your front door, knocking on it lightly. 

You were back in your flat, a few hours had passed since the Starbucks incident and you had decided to turn off your phone after telling Phil you ruined your chances with Dan. 

The Tube came not too long after and you were able to find a seat and zone out, something you often did to try and stave off anxiety attacks. 

Since then you had locked yourself away in your flat. You knew you needed to talk to Dan but at the same time, you wanted to avoid him at all costs. The embarrassment was currently too much.

_I'll think about this tomorrow,_ you had told yourself. _Tomorrow._

But now Phil was here and had been knocking at your door for the past two minutes at least. He didn't sound like he was going away any time soon either. You groaned from your seat on your sofa, where you were currently eating a tub of ice cream and watching High School Musical for comfort. 

"(Y/N)!" Phil yelled again.

"Fine! I'm coming!" you yelled back, placing the ice cream down on the coffee table. You stood up and marched over to the door, swinging it open. You stared up at Phil, who was currently holding a concerned expression on his face. Any irritation you had with him at that moment melted away at the sight of him.

"Hi, Phil," you mumbled, feeling a little bad. You took a step back and gestured for him to come in before closing the door behind him. 

"Are you all right, (Y/N)?" he asked, turning to look at you. "You haven't been answering your phone."

"Oh," you said. You didn't mean to sound so deadpan, it was more of a defense mechanism at this point to keep you from reliving the Starbucks Incident and having a meltdown. 

Phil looked at you for a moment, waiting for you to continue. "Oh...?"

You started to walk back to your sofa, Phil following behind you. "I turned it off."

"Why?"

"Because I didn't want to confront my problems," you plopped down and curled up in your seat, retrieving the ice cream from the coffee table.

Phil seated himself next to you, "Is that High School Musical?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. "Dan likes it, too."

You let out an exasperated groan at the mention of Dan's name, not wanting to be reminded of him. "Please, don't remind me of Dan's existence right now."

Laughing, Phil apologised. "I know, I said his name on purpose."

You shot him a glare, which was only reciprocated with a lopsided grin.

"I think you should turn on your phone," he said, looking around for it. "Dan has been trying to reach you for ages. He even came over a couple times."

You shot up in your seat, "He did? I don't remember hearing him?"  _Maybe that was when I was in the shower._ You quickly ran to your room and got your phone, turning it on as you walked back to Phil.

Within seconds your phone was bombarded with missed calls and text messages from both Dan and Phil. You stared as your phone repeatedly buzzed in your hands. A feeling of guilt washed over you as you read some of the texts and notifications.  
\-----

Dan: _"That'll be something to_ _vlog_ _about, huh?"_

Dan: _"Oh, I thought you'd be outside."_

Dan: _"Did you leave?"_

Dan: _"(Y/N)?"_

You checked the times, all of those texts were sent right after you left. _He was looking for me?_

Dan: _"I hope you don't actually feel bad, it wasn't a big deal!"_

[Five missed calls from Dan]

Dan: _"Call me when you get this?"_

Dan: :/

Phil: _"(Y/N), why aren't you answering?"_

Phil's texts were more recent.

[Three missed calls from Phil]

Phil: _"I'm going to come over and break down your door if you don't call or text one of us back."_

Phil: _"Final warning!"_

Phil: _"Okay no, that's not fair. You have three more chances! When I count down to one, I'm coming over."_

Phil: _"Three."_

Phil: _"Two."_

Phil:  _"One."_

Phil: _"All right, here I come."_

\-----

You eased down into your seat next to Phil and dropped your phone, "I'm such an idiot. I got you and Dan worried over nothing."

Phil pursed his lips, "Well, you didn't have the best day from what you and Dan told me."

"Oh my god, Dan told you what happened, too?" you groaned pathetically, tugging at your hair. Your heart sank in your chest, but then again, this was probably normal between them. They were best friends so they probably told each other everything.

"Yeah, but the important thing is that there's nothing to worry about!" Phil said this while patting your knee as a gesture of encouragement. "Dan thought it was funny!"

He had a dorky grin on his face, though it was clear he was smiling to counteract your depressed mood.  _As usual_ , you thought. "Dan thought it was funny? Are you lying to me?"

"Of course not, just look at the texts he sent you. He's quite worried."

You thought back to all the texts that Dan had sent. Taking a breath, you knew deep down this entire thing was probably childish.

Not probably, it just _was_.

Sighing, you turned to Phil, "I'm sorry, Phil. I _am_ an idiot, though."

"But you're a nice idiot?"

You smiled, "Gee, thanks."

You thought to the events that transpired today, how you spilt hot chocolate all over your crush and made a fool of yourself in an entire room full of people. And also how you left Dan to fend for himself, which was selfish of you but you really could not handle the pressure and embarrassment at that moment.

"Phil," you said, looking at him. "Ugh, like, the day was going great until I messed it up. And I messed it up even worse by running away. I wish I didn't do that, but my anxiety got the best of me."

"You have anxiety? I didn't know that at all," Phil said, clearly surprised. "You're always so good with people!"

"Well, I never got a diagnosis so I don't know if I have an actual disorder or anything," you replied, glancing down. "Social interactions do freak me out though, just a little. Like, oh wait, I'm sorry, I probably shouldn't be dumping all this on you."

Strands of Phil's black hair danced as he shook his head quickly in an exaggerated manner. Phil repositioned himself on your sofa with a look of determination on his face, "No. Tell me everything, we are friends and I am here to listen."

You smiled, "Okay. Earlier when I was with Dan, he actually asked if I wanted to be an extra in that musical you two are going to be in."

Phil nodded.

"I said no,  that I was a blogger and not a vlogger for a reason. And that reason links back to the anxiety. I can't handle attention, I was already dying simply by being with Dan alone today. I'm always afraid I'll say the wrong thing or people will judge me and..."

You trailed off, grimacing at the plethora of old memories of high school that started to resurface in your mind.

"You okay there?" Phil asked, his blue eyes staring. 

"Yeah, just," you groaned. "Cringe attack, sorry."

"Oh boy, not one of those..."

Inhaling deeply, you continued, "High school and college was tough for me. In high school, well, we all know how that usually goes for kids who don't fit in."

"Being normal is overrated anyway," Phil said as a means of encouragement, rolling his eyes playfully.

"Yeah," you laughed softly. "But it's hard to accept that when you're younger, and sometimes it's hard for me to accept now but I'm trying to get better. But anyway, so today...when I messed up really badly at Starbucks and people stared and Dan... I just..."

Your voice started to trail off as your mind replayed the scene. The way the other customers were staring at you and Dan, but mainly you. Probably judging you and pitying you. You were the only one prancing around like a fool, you were the one who made the mistake.

_Ugh, I should never leave my house ever again. Of course it's the American who messes up. What else is new._ Before you got deeper into hating yourself, you caught yourself.

Clearing your throat, you went on. "I felt like I was suffocating, Phil. I just had to get out. And now I feel really bad because wow, I left Dan back there alone because I couldn't get my shit together."

Phil was frowning now, which wasn't something you usually saw.

You gave him a half smile, "I'm a wreck. I'm bad at social interaction, honestly I don't feel that confident in myself as a whole and I wouldn't be surprised if Dan wouldn't want anything to do with me."

"(Y/N), I just want to remind you that Dan literally has an entire fanbase centering on being a social failure. But also I want to remind you that there is absolutely nothing wrong with being who you are, and if you suck at talking with people, then so be it!"

"Easier said than done, Phil," you muttered, though you liked his supportive words and couldn't help but crack another small smile on the corner of your lips.

"But still doable," the blue-eyed boy countered, completely confident with his statement. "And," he went on. "Dan can probably relate to your situation today. Haven't you seen his video on the Awkward Dinner at the fancy restaurant?"

"Oh, god," you replied. _That video was painful._

"Look, you two are both awkward and what happened today is nothing to beat yourself up about. If anything, it probably brought you closer together because it's a memory you'll be laughing over!"

Phil was right, you knew he was right. _I need to lighten up, but...again, easier said than done._ You looked at him. _But still doable._

_I can at least try. Meaning I should probably go see Dan, ugh._

"Okay," you managed to say.

"Now with that being said," Phil said. "Come over, we're making cookies and I promised Dan I'll bring you back with me."

You gasped, "What! I'm not ready for this!"

"Nope, nope, nope," Phil waved a finger back and forth in front of your face while shaking his head. "Now or never. Besides, this is all part of the plan after all."

_The plan to win Dan's heart,_ you thought to yourself. _I feel like it's going nowhere but I guess this will be some type of progress._

You thought back to how Dan paid for your hot chocolate, you know, the one you never got to drink. How Dan willingly stayed with you and offered to walk home with you.

Maybe it really was progress?

"Fine," you said. "Give me ten minutes to look more presentable and put my stuff away and I'll be over."

"Okay!" Phil chirped, obviously happy with himself. "And I will be right here until you are done, I promised Dan I'd retrieve you."

You leaned over and playfully slapped Phil's arm, "Sure." You rose to your feet, shutting off your television.

"Thanks, Phil," you smiled.

He smiled back.


	4. Biscuits and Cookies

Still in pyjamas, you freshened up and accompanied Phil back across the hall to his and Dan's flat. Your heart was racing, again you weren't sure what to expect but you had no choice of turning back.

Phil opened the door and you trailed behind him inside.

"Look who I brought back with me!" he yelled out into the corridor.

Dan's head popped out from one of the rooms, "(Y/N) I hope!"

The two of you made eye contact and you felt like your heart was going to fall out of your chest.

"The one and only..." you muttered, an attempt at humour. You weakly shot him with some finger guns, not moving at this point. _Why did I do that?_

"Come on," Phil lightly grabbed your forearm and pulled you toward him, gesturing you to follow him into the kitchen where Dan was.

You hadn't been in their kitchen that many times and to be honest, it was weird seeing it from a different angle than in their baking videos. It was a little surreal and again, you had to remind yourself that you were standing in the flat of two of Britain's biggest Youtube stars.

"I have everything set out already so we can get started right away," Dan said, stepping to the side so you and Phil could come in.

You glanced at the counter where there were ingredients to make cookies. You also noticed the camera sitting on the small tripod as well.

"Oh, um, you're recording this?" you asked slowly, already feeling yourself nope'ing out of the situation.

"Oh, that," Phil waved it off, reaching over to pick it up. He detached the camera from the tripod and folded it up. "We were going to make a video at first, but--"

Dan cut him off, "We decided against it and to invite you over instead. I was busy getting stuff out so I didn't put the camera away yet."

You nodded, feeling a little bad that you got in the way of one of their videos. After all, it was their livelihood.

"I know you don't like being in front of a camera," Dan reassured.

_He remembers?_ you asked yourself, giving him a small smile.

"I'll be right back, I'm going to put this away," Phil said as he left the room, leaving you and Dan alone.

Silence enveloped the two of you, you knew you had to say something before this got any more awkward.

"So about earlier--," you started.

"About today--," Dan said at the same time.

Cutting each other off, Dan stared at you with a grin before you both dissolved into laughter. The oncoming weight of awkwardness that was present before had dissipated, much to your relief.

"You go first," Dan said.

"I wanted to apologise for earlier," you said. "Especially for your clothes and for like, you know, leaving you...then shutting off my phone and not calling you back and...stuff..." with each word you started to grimace at your behaviour. By the end of it, you were sure you had a look of total embarrassment plastered on your face.

Dan clicked his tongue, "No problem, (Y/N), it wasn't too bad. I managed to save my phone before it got drenched and let's be real here, that's all that mattered."

You managed a little laugh.

"Besides, that was nothing compared to my fails that I probably have on a daily basis," Dan's voice drifted off slightly and then he shuddered at the thought.

"Cringe attack?" you asked knowingly.

"Unfortunately."

You felt the conversation dying out, another silent spell was coming. So was that all? Well, Dan forgave you so what more was there to it? 

"So...that's it then?" you asked, shifting your weight from foot to foot, unsure. "I'm forgiven?"

"Well no," Dan said, suddenly giving you a serious face.

Your chest tightened, "No?"

"You think I'd let you get off that easy?"

_I don't know what to think anymore, Dan._

Dan pointed to the ingredients behind you on the counter, "I expect you to make some damn amazing biscuits for me today."

"Oh," you exhaled. "God, don't freak me out like that!" you hit his arm, thankful he was apparently only joking.

"Ow, why do you hit so hard?!" Dan exclaimed, backing away into the fridge while holding his arm in mock pain.

You laughed, the room felt lighter now and you knew everything was going to be okay.

"Really though, I need some good ones. This is serious business," Dan stated in a deadpan voice as he purposely gave you a dull look.

"Right," you smiled. "Serious business. I got this."

"Good! And also, one more thing," Dan extended his arms outwards.

You looked at him for a moment, confused.

"Well, don't leave me hanging, (Y/N)!"

It took a moment, but then you finally caught on, "Oh! Like, like," you stuttered as you too extended your arms out as if to confirm that Dan was asking for a hug.

He nodded in a deliberately slow and exaggerated manner with his eyebrows raised, as if to say God, you idiot, come on.

"Right, yeah!" you stepped forward and Dan wrapped you up in a hug.

For a second, you almost didn't hug him back. Sure, you've hugged Dan before but this time it was different. He was trying to make sure you felt better.

You wrapped your arms around his torso and returned the embrace.

"We're good?" Dan asked, pulling away.

"Yeah, thanks, Dan," you said, smiling. "I owe you."

Before Dan could say anything back, Phil returned.

"Hey, guys, sorry that took a while," he said as he walked in, disrupting the seemingly intimate atmosphere you had with Dan before. "Hope you didn't start without me."

"Oh no," Dan said. "I was just explaining to (Y/N) here how she is now tasked with making the best cookies ever if she wants to be forgiven for ruining my clothes earlier."

You faked a groan of frustration, though you couldn't help but grin the whole time. You truly felt relieved that things were back to normal now between you and Dan. A part of you wanted to scold yourself for overreacting so much to begin with, but you knew it wasn't truly your fault.

Social anxiety sucked and you mentally promised yourself to work on getting a better handle on it. You were thankful that Dan and Phil were so understanding. Even though Dan didn't know the details behind your actions today, like Phil, he was still sweet about it and even tried to relate to you.

"Oh right," Dan said, interrupting your thoughts. "Let me grab the bowls real quick," he turned his back to you to reach into the cupboard.

While his attention was elsewhere, you turned to Phil and he winked at you. It caught you off guard and at first you were confused as to why he did it. But you suddenly thought to how he did actually take quite a long time to simply put a camera away.

_He did that on purpose_ , you realised. _He did that so Dan and I could talk in private and sort things out._

Grinning happily, you gave Phil a thumbs up (because you can't wink to save your life) and mouthed the words, "Thank you."

He smiled back.

"All right, let's make these biscuits," Dan said, turning back around to face you and Phil.

"Yes!" Phil said enthusiastically, gesturing towards the ingredients behind you with jazz hands. "So first thing first..."

\-----  
It turned out that Dan and Phil were baking cookies for some type of fundraising function within the Youtube community. You weren't exactly sure what it was for, though Dan did try to explain it to you a couple of times. Regardless of the reason, you were happy to help and you were glad that they invited you.

"Oh my god, they smell so good," you said, leaning over to look into the oven. Two trays of cookies were already inside.

"Focus!" Dan snapped his fingers at you and then at the bowl you currently had in your hands.

"God, I know!" you mocked offense, whisking even faster. You were in charge of mixing the sugary frosting paste that was going to go on the cookies.

Phil chuckled lightly as he was washing off dishes and utensils on the side. Dan was prepping the last batch of cookies on a tray to be put into the oven with the rest.

"I feel like we might have made too much," Dan said.

"You can never have too many biscuits, Dan," Phil stated in a matter of fact tone.

"You're right."

"Besides," you jumped in. "You could always give them to me."

Dan rolled his eyes, "I'd rather--oh," he cut himself off before he starting to laugh.

"Um," you stared at him, a tad confused. "What is it?"

"How did you manage to get frosting on your face, (Y/N)?" Dan asked, his laughter dying down.

Your eyes widened, "What? Well, I did try to scratch my cheek just now--stop laughing, it itched!"

"Sorry, sorry," Dan shook his head as if to shake away his amusement. You were about to stop whisking and grab a paper towel, when you noticed that your hands were messier than you realised. 

"Wow, when did this happen," you muttered, staring at the paste that covered random areas of your hands. 

Phil glanced at you from over his shoulder, "You're muttering again."

"Shut up, Phil," you playfully snapped. He smiled before turning back to the sink. 

"I got you, child," Dan said, picking up a tissue. He leaned down towards you as if to inspect how much frosting was actually on your face, before reaching a hand up to wipe it off with the tissue.

Your breath hitched in your throat. _He--he's so close to me_ , you were internally screaming. Your brain was having a hard time registering just how close he was to your face, you could barely think. 

_Don't blush, don't blush, don't blush, you freaking idiot!_ you yelled at yourself, wishing Dan would finish already and back away.

Thankfully, he did.

"There you go!" he declared, sounding proud of himself.

"Thanks, dude," you managed to choke out with a smile before instantly turning away. You started whisking aggressively, just wanting to move on from the moment. Beside you, you could hear Phil quietly chuckling under his breath.

"Shut up, Phil," you whispered.

"Progress," Phil said to you, loud enough for Dan to hear. You felt a short wave of panic engulf you, but Dan had resumed his baking duty and thankfully did not question Phil's words.

_Progress_ , you thought. _I guess I did have a lot of progress today._

Not only did you make up with Dan, but he apparently is comfortable enough around you to wipe off frosting from your face. You weren't sure if it meant anything, but you wanted it to. You found yourself smiling as you continued to work on the frosting paste.

_I need to step it up,_ you thought. _This was nice, but Dan probably doesn't know I like him at all. I have to make the first move..._ you didn't like the thought of that, but it was the only option that would help make actual progression.

_Okay_ , you decided. _I'm going to ask him out on a date._

 


	5. Video Games

The next few days were blissful for you, though you were also extremely busy at work. Now that it was officially Christmas season, an influx of students and tourists were interested in visiting London and you had to keep up with their enquiries.

Between writing blog posts, managing your organisation's social media pages, and directly talking with clients, you had no time to ask Dan out on the date you had hoped for. A part of you, the anxiety ridden part of you, was perfectly fine with this though.

The thought of simply asking already intimidated you.

It was another day at work, a rather gloomy day typical of a London winter, and you were seated in your cubicle staring blankly at your laptop screen. You had just finished answering a number of emails and were more or less done with any current work you had for the day.

 _Oh,_ you suddenly remembered. _I should look up_ _SparklesofSunshine_ _._

You looked behind your shoulder and around your surrounding area before opening Youtube on your browser. It would be a little awkward if your boss happened to catch you not working, even if you were technically done for the day.

"There is always something that needs to be done," you mimicked your boss' words under your breath, rolling your eyes. _Whatever, Carol._

You typed in SparklesofSunshine and instantly videos of a girl with long brown hair and a lip piercing popped up in a list of videos on the search page. At the top, you clicked on her channel and then on her About tab where there was a short description:

_Hello, darlings! I'm Samantha and welcome to my channel. I do song covers, comedy skits, lifestyle and fashion videos! If you like what you see then hit that subscribe button. ;)_

Underneath was some contact information for collaborations and business enquiries. She had a little over a million subscribers and almost 200 videos.

You clicked on her Videos tab and scrolled through some of her content. _Oh, she covers Taylor Swift songs,_ you noticed, clicking on the first one you saw. You plugged in your headphones and listened as she started singing.

You watched as the perky brunette gently strummed a guitar as she sang her rendition of _Innocent._ She was a mezzo soprano and you were more than impressed with her sound. As she sang, you scrolled through her suggested videos on the side.

Her fashion sense was one of her distinguishable traits, but you had a hard time pinpointing it. Was it punk? Hipster? Perhaps a mixture of both?

 _Whatever it is, she looks great and I wish I could pull that off,_ you thought, looking down at your own outfit.

An oversized black sweater, jeans, and grey scarf was all you had on. You had always wanted to try more bolder styles, but never had the money or confidence to invest in doing it. Living vicariously through your Pinterest boards helped to alleviate the sporadic desire.

For the next fifteen minutes you spent your time watching more of her videos. You learned that her name was Samantha and she was also American but had moved to England with her mother a few years ago. She had a thing for flannel and combat boots, and loved doing shopping hauls. Her comedy skits often focused on the awkward mishaps one would have doing everyday things, making her extremely relatable to fans and non fans alike.

 _She really is funny,_ you thought, trying to stifle your laughter during some of her videos. You clicked on her latest video, which was posted a couple weeks ago, and noticed that it was about the musical Dan had mentioned.

"Hello, my darlings!" Samantha said happily on the screen, wearing a burgundy coloured beanie on her head. "So I have an exciting announcement - - I'm making a musical!" She threw her arms out over her head and fake confetti appeared on the screen with canned laughter.

"Now I'm not going to tell you what it's about, that'll be a surprise," she went on, a shining white smile plastered on her face. "But I will tell you this. It will involve London, sunshine, lists of awkward situations, and two guest Youtubers will be my costars."

Which each item she listed, a cartoon picture to represent them popped up around her and she pointed at each on the screen as they appeared.

 _Dan and Phil?_ you thought to yourself. _It has to be._ _Who else then?_

You finished watching the rest and clicked out, having enough for the day. Overall, she was a positive presence with a humorous channel, just as you were told. You decided to subscribe to her.   
\-----

Dan: _"Come over for video games!"_

You had just gotten home to read that text, which you had received a bit ago during your commute home.

 _Video games sound fun,_ you said to yourself as you put your things on the counter. A few minutes later you were at Dan and Phil's door, knocking.

"(Y/N), come in! That was quick," Dan greeted you as he opened the door.

"Oh," you laughed. "I just got home from work so I was already up and about.

Dan side stepped so you could come in.

"Where's Phil?" you asked, looking around.

"Game room, come on!"

-Thirty Minutes Later-

"No, no, no!" Dan yelled, smashing his fingers into his controller with absolutely no chill.

"Geez, Dan, it's not that serious--no! (Y/N), I thought we were friends!" Phil moaned sadly as he watched Zelda fall off the screen.

You did your best evil laugh, "Think again!"

The three of you were playing Super Smash Bros, and surprisingly you were quite good at it especially with Jigglypuff. It had been a while since you last played, but it was great to win.

Dan did not taking losing so well, especially since he was used to beating Phil all the time.

"Looks like I'm going to win again, Dan," you taunted, evading his attacks.

"Not if I can help it," he replied lowly. The two of you went back and forth landing blows at each other, doing substantial damage to both sides. But you were confident you were going to win, you just had to get Dan one more time. Phil was watching on the edge of his seat.

"Damn it, (Y/N)!" Dan yelled before taking one of his hands and covering your eyes as he tried to attack you.

"Oh my god!" you yelled loudly, trying to pry Dan off your face. "What are you doing! Dan!"

You dropped your controller and blindly reached out an arm, knocking Dan's controller out of his hands. You could hear Phil laughing hysterically beside you.

"No!" you heard Dan yell in a high pitched tone. As he momentarily let go of you to retrieve his controller, you regained your sight and immediately picked up yours.

"How dare you!" you yelled playfully, shoving Dan hard enough to wear he fell over onto his side.

Dan smashed his controller repeatedly, trying to land his finishing blow on you. But alas, it was futile since due to his odd angle on the floor he accidentally jumped off the side of the screen and killed himself.

"What!" he yelled, sitting up quickly. "What!"

You busted out into a fit of hysterical laughter with Phil as the results of the round showed on screen, declaring you the winner.

"That was totally unfair," Dan said, looking defeated.

"Says the person who blinded (Y/N)," Phil said in between laughs.

"Oh, shut up," Dan mumbled, though a smile started to form on his lips. "I'm going to go get something to eat, would you guys like anything?"

You and Phil looked at each other momentarily before turning to Dan. "I'd take some chips," you said. "I've been craving something salty."

"You mean crisps," Dan corrected you in jest.

You rolled your eyes, "Crisps."

"Water would be nice actually, all that laughing made me thirsty," Phil said.

"Thank you, Dan!" you and Phil said simultaneously with broad smiles.

"Yeah, yeah," Dan nodded as he left the room.

After he left, you started tidying up the area as the three of you made quite a mess. Phil took the opportunity to ask you for a progress update.

"So? How is _it_ going?"

"It as in...?" you glanced towards the door Dan had just walked out of. Phil nodded. "Okay, I guess?"

Phil raised an eyebrow.

"I can't tell if it's working but I do feel like I've gotten to know Dan better," you answered truthfully. You really _didn't_ know if anything you were doing was working because...technically you haven't really done anything yet.

"I want to ask him out on a date," you admitted in a hushed tone, leaning in towards Phil.

Phil leaned in towards you as well, whispering back, "That sounds like a great idea."

You gave a half smile, "Yeah, but I won't present it as a date, I don't want to make it too obvious."

"Hmm," Phil bit his bottom lip momentarily in thought, glancing to the side. You watched him in anticipation, waiting to hear if he had any thoughts on the matter.

"How about you ask us both out to do whatever it is you want to do, and I'll just say I'm busy at the last minute so it's just you two?" Phil finally said.

Your eyes lit up, "That'll work. I was thinking we could--"

"It was hard carrying all this, you guys better appreciate my effort of being a good friend and caring," Dan returned at that moment, interrupting your conversation with Phil. He handed you a bowl of crisps and threw a bottle of water at Phil, before seating himself down on the floor next to you with a plate of the cookies you had baked a few days earlier.

"Oh, Dan, thanks," Phil said, catching the water bottle. "(Y/N) and I were just talking about hanging out tomorrow."

You shot a look at Phil, your heart skipping a beat from being thrown into a situation you weren't done mentally preparing yourself for.

"Yeah? What's the plan?" Dan asked, taking a bite out of his cookie. He looked at you intently.

You actually hadn't thought of what you wanted to do with Dan yet for a date, so you said the first thing that came to mind: "Want to go to the movies?"

 _Can you be any more generic and cliché?_ you asked yourself.

"Sure, why not! I heard that new movie with Benedict Cumberbatch is supposed to be good."

"Yeah, same. Let's watch that," you replied, lying through your teeth. You had no idea what movie he was referring to but hey, you got Dan to go out with you (kinda).

Phil cleared his throat, "I might have something to do tomorrow but hopefully I should be able to make it." He nudged you gently with his elbow, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Yeah," you forced a laugh, nudging him back.

The three of you spent the next few minutes eating and enjoying each others company, occasionally talking over details for tomorrow's outing. It was pleasant and a nice stress reliever for you, especially since lately work had been hectic for you.

As the banter went on, you internally started cheesing to yourself. _I'm so grateful to have these two in my life,_ you thought. You realised at that moment that you didn't have that many friends in London. Coworkers were well, coworkers. You didn't hang out with them too much outside of work and work functions.

With the recent cold and gloomy weather, having Dan and Phil around brightened your day. You often suffered from seasonal depression, though you've been taking measures to try and stave it off. Being in the presence of these kind-hearted and hilarious boys helped, and it definitely only deepened your crush on Dan.

The thought made you start to blush and you instantly started stuffing your face with crisps.

"How about another round," Dan announced. "I'm going to beat you this time, both of you."

"Honestly I don't think you'll have much trouble beating me," Phil answered, making a sad puppy face at the floor.

You reached an arm over and wrapped it over Phil's shoulder, pulling him into a quick hug.

"Don't worry, Phil, we can tag team against Dan," you said this as you smirked at Dan.

"Fine, I will take on both of you. No sore losers."

"Says the sore loser," Phil countered, chuckling.

"Shush!"

You laughed and reached for your controller, selecting Jigglypuff once again from the list of characters. "All right, let's do this again."


	6. Cinema

You knocked on Dan's and Phil's door, inhaling deeply to calm your nerves. It was noon and the three of you had decided on going out to lunch and then the cinema. You weren't exactly sure on where to go for either so you let Dan decide.

The door opened and Dan was standing in front of you, wearing a monochrome Christmas jumper and black jeans. The usual. He flashed you a smile.

"Phil won't be able to make it apparently," he said. "Something  came up for work."

You tried to act surprised, "Oh? Can he join us later?"

"Not from what it sounded, he said he would try to finish up as quickly as possible though!" Dan tried to reassure you.  Of course, this was all part of the plan. You were glad that it was going smoothly.

Dan stepped out from his flat and shut the door behind him, "Shall we be off?"

You nodded, "Yeah!" Pointing out towards the lift, you marched towards it and pressed the down button.

_I'm about to go out with Dan,_ you told yourself. _Let's not mess this up, that would be great._  
\-----

Rock, paper, scissors decided your lunch as the two of you navigated the shopping centre with wandering eyes. The final result was pizza, which you were not opposed to at all.

You and Dan happily skipped towards the line for pizza. Coincidentally, neither of you had breakfast as you were working  yourselves up for lunch so you were both excited for it.

On the Tube ride over, you chatted about your lives, work, and random things you saw on the Internet. Being alone with Dan was nice and you were excited to see what the rest of the day would hold.

The shopping centre was full of activity, probably people buying Christmas gifts. _It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas_ blared on the intercom overhead and you listened to it with silent glee. Christmas, despite the cold, was one of your favourite parts of the year.

The music was happy and the idea of being full of Christmas cheer and spirit was both nostalgic and warming. One of the reasons  you had loved shopping was to immerse yourself in the music and decorations.

And now you could share this experience with Dan.

There was a break in your banter as the two of you stood in line. Dan was on his phone, checking a couple of texts, and you couldn't help but sneak a glance at his profile.

_He was just so handsome,_ you thought, biting your bottom lip to suppress a smile. And of course at the moment he just had to look up and catch you watching him.

"S-so!" you instantly blurted out, laughing nervously. "Can't wait for that pizza, huh?"

_Couldn't you have thought of anything better to say, (Y/N), for crying out loud,_ you had to stop yourself from face palming right then and there.

Dan gave you a funny look before chuckling, "Yeah, I'm starving. I need food, like, right now. Why is this line so long?"

"What kind of pizza are you going to get?" you asked. _Mundane thing to ask, but at least it's keeping the conversation going..._

"Oh, I was going to get - - "

"Oh my god, _Dan_?"

Dan's sentence was cut off by a female voice coming from a few feet away. Confused, you both turned in the direction of the voice. Standing off a little ways away was a brunette sporting a burgundy coloured beanie and lip ring.

It was Samantha, otherwise known as SparklesofSunshine.

You blinked a couple times, not believing that you were literally staring at another super popular Youtube celebrity. Before you knew it, she was walking towards you. Well, Dan.

"Fancy seeing you here!" she exclaimed, throwing her arms around Dan for a hug.

"Samantha! I could say the same!" Dan's face lit up, returning her hug. "Are you lost, we don't have Hot Topic in the UK, you know."

Dan laughed as Samantha rolled her eyes, "Ha. Ha. You're so funny, Dan," she smirked. "You wish you could be as fashionable as me."

Dan made a pretend monotonous laugh that eventually drifted off to a full halt. "Well," he said, giving her a deadpan look.

The two bursted into a fit of laughter.

You instantly felt awkward beside them, an empty smile on your face since well...you didn't know how else to act.

Dan gestured towards you, "Samantha, this is my friend and neighbour, (Y/N). (Y/N), this is Samantha. She's - -"

"SparklesofSunshine from YouTube," you interjected, making eye contact with her. Samantha's eyes lit up at the mention of her Youtube handle.

"Do you watch my stuff?" she asked.

"I started to recently," you replied. "Dan and Phil told me about you."

"Aw, thanks for the recommendation, guys," Samantha gently grabbed Dan's arm and squeezed it before letting go. It was a small gesture, but something about it made you feel a pang of jealousy.

_Why do I feel like this?_

"So what are you guys doing out here? Oh what do you do, (Y/N)? You're American!"

"Yeah," you managed to laugh. _Everyone points it out every other day._ "I work for a travel organisation."

"Whoa," Samantha's bright green eyes widened. "That's hella cool."

You placed a hand over the top of your head, smiling sheepishly, "Barely."

Dan waved you off, "Oh please, don't be so humble. You have an actual job that requires you to leave your flat and socialise with other people. That's just mind blowing."

"What can I say?" you shrugged and shook your head.

The line shortened a little and the three of you moved accordingly. Samantha was taller than how you had imagined her from the videos, at least a couple inches taller than you. She looked like a model. A punk-rock-whatever model who carried herself with an air of confidence you wish you could begin to emulate.

"Oh, we were just hanging out. Going to get lunch then catch a movie at the cinema," Dan said, answering Samantha's previous question. "What about you?"

Samantha had a camera bag strapped around her shoulder, which she patted with a hand, "Filming," she said in a matter of fact tone. "And waiting for Connor," she looked over her shoulder as she said this. "We're trying to film his solo parts today."

"That's right!" Dan said, sounding like he just remembered something. "Connor is here for a couple weeks, isn't he?"

"Yeah, Dan, duh," Samantha playfully rolled her eyes. Again, she reached over and made physical contact with him, gently shoving him.

"Hey, my memory isn't the best, okay," Dan countered with a mock serious tone.

You could feel yourself straining already. Samantha seemed talkative and friendly, but you always found it mentally and emotionally exhausting to talk to people you didn't know. Especially when it was unexpected.

Not to mention you were also starting to feel a little left out of the conversation, though really it was more so because you had no idea what they were talking about.

"Connor?" you asked, deciding to speak up. Might as well.

Samantha turned to you, "Yeah! Connor Franta, he's also a Youtuber. Do you watch him?"

You nodded, "I see. And oh no, I don't watch him. I'm not too involved in the Youtube community so I don't really know any names."

You did, however, recall him being in a couple of videos with Dan and Phil.

"Hey, you should come to the fundraiser tomorrow then!" Samantha said excitedly, looking to Dan and then you.

You looked up at Dan with eyebrows raised in enquiry. "Fundraiser?" you asked.

The brunette nudged Dan with her elbow, "(Y/N) can be your plus one."

Dan finally answered your question, "Tomorrow a bunch of Youtubers are getting together with a restaurant downtown so we can raise money for an organisation that specialises in suicide prevention and mental health awareness."

"That sounds intense,"  your eyes widened at the mention of the heavy subjects.

Samantha nodded, "It's a really important cause we are trying to contribute to and you should come! Dress code is semi formal. But the event is definitely not that serous, think of it as a little get together? Like a party, it'll be fun. There will be food, music, games, and what not. I can introduce you to other Youtubers!"

You smiled at Samantha, "I'll see if I can, my work schedule is pretty tight right now."

You weren't lying, but a part of you didn't really want to go. You were never keen on parties and you hated going to a place where you barely knew anyone. _Samantha seems to really want me to go though,_ you thought. _She really wants to immerse me in_ _Youtube_ _, I guess._

"Who knows," Samantha went on. "Maybe we could get you started on Youtube too."

You laughed and shook your head, "I'm not sure if I'm up for that."

The line to the pizza was about done, only a couple more people were standing in front of you. You looked to Dan, "Hey why don't you find us a table, I can order for us."

Dan looked around the room, noting how packed it was. "Good idea," he said.

"I'll pay, I owe you, remember?" you said.

Dan grinned, "Right."

"It was nice meeting you, Samantha," you said, assuming that she'd want to go with Dan.

Samantha nodded, "Yeah! And I hope you can come tomorrow, if anything come for the free food, right?"

You forced a laugh, "Yeah."

Dan told you what kind of pizza he wanted before he and Samantha left. You felt like you could breathe again. _I wonder how long they were friends for,_ you asked yourself, thinking back to how they just seemed so...comfortable with one another.

_Ugh, I'm thinking too much into this. Besides, Samantha is super cool,_ you turned to look over your shoulder and her and Dan as they wandered around to find a table. You wished you were more engaged in conversation when she was over, but it was hard.

She had an overpowering personality, but not in a bad way. You weren't necessarily a quiet person, but when you found yourself sharing a space with extroverts, you always became more reserved. You never understood why you did that, either.

"Two pepperoni pizza slices, please," you said to the person behind the counter, smiling politely. You paid and picked up your order a couple seconds later.  Holding the tray in your hand, you looked around the food court to see if you could spot Dan and Samantha.

Or well, just Dan would be okay, too.

_Technically this isn't a known date, so I can't really get upset if another person wanted to join us, I suppose._

Finally you spotted Dan and walked over.

"Hey," you said, placing the tray down in the middle of the table. Samantha was nowhere in sight. "Oh, Samantha left?" you asked, looking around before sitting down across from Dan.

"Thanks, (Y/N)!" Dan said, reaching for his plate. "And yeah, Connor called and said he made it but was on the other side of the building so she went to go retrieve him."

You nodded. "Are they filming the musical?" you reached for your pizza as well.

"Yes, actually," Dan replied, taking a bite. "And some other videos too for their channels since Connor doesn't come that often."

"Are you going to make a video with him as well? You and Phil."

"Yup, haven't discussed details yet though. Probably gonna do that at the event tomorrow. Speaking of which," Dan said. "Are you coming?"

You nibbled at your pizza, "To the party?"

Dan nodded.

"Well, like I said earlier I'll have to look at my work schedule and what I have going on. Why, would you like me to come that badly?" you asked teasingly, a small smile on your lips.

"I do, actually," Dan replied.

His tone came off more assertive than you expected, catching you a little off guard. You stared at him, mid bite, a blush spreading on your cheeks.

"W-well," you stuttered, looking off to the side to avoid eye contact. "I'll keep you posted and hopefully I can make it."

"Sure," Dan smiled.  
\-----

The Benedict Cumberbatch movie Dan suggested ended up being sold out, so you two opted for a random horror movie instead. It was a good second choice since you both enjoyed watching them.

After buying drinks and a popcorn to share, you found a good seat in the centre of the theatre, a sparse audience sporadically seated all around you.

"This is American, so it's probably going to suck," you said as the lights dimmed and the trailers started.

Dan grabbed a handful of popcorn from the box sitting in your lap, laughing nervously before stuffing it into his face.

The movie started off typical enough. A family moves into a questionable house with an unknown dark past, and questionable things start to happen.

"Can't she just turn on the lights?" Dan whispered, leaning down in his seat, his eyes glued to the screen. "Keep your back to the wall!" he quietly screamed at the lady in the movie, who was blindly walking around her house in the dark and saying, 'Hello? Is anyone there?' as if the demon or whatever was going to respond.

"This is stressing me out," you whispered in response, pressing your back into your seat and gripping onto the popcorn tightly. "Why did you pick this?"

" _Me?_ " Dan asked, his voice cracking a little. "You were the one who - -"

At that moment loud music came blaring from the speakers along with a jump scare, causing you to, of course, jump in your seat and nearly spill your popcorn on the floor.

"Jesus Christ!" Dan yelled, frozen in his seat in terror. The fright subsided quickly and you ended up laughing quietly to yourself in reaction to Dan.

Breathing heavily and clutching his heart, Dan sat up in his seat and gave you a glare in jest.

"You okay, there, Dan?" you asked, covering your mouth with a hand as you tried to suppress your giggles.

"Could have been worse," he answered. "At least it's not like that one time I decided to play Silent Hill while Phil was away and - - Ugh!" Dan jumped again at another scary part in the movie, almost knocking the popcorn out of your hands completely.

Your eyes finally met the screen to see that the movie had finally revealed what was haunting the family, and you did not like it.

"Oh my god," you said as you brought your legs up in your seat, becoming paranoid of the darkness that surrounded you.

"Screw this," Dan suddenly said. You looked at him confused as he grabbed your popcorn and placed it on the floor by the seat next to him. He pulled up the arm rest that had been in between you and folded it up. He then scooted in closer to you, pulling up his feet onto his seat as well.

"If I'm going down, I'm taking you with me," he said, whispering this directly into your ear. His knees leaned in sideways to touch yours, giving you a gleeful start.

"Oh god, okay," you whispered back, amused. You sounded entertained on the outside, but on the inside you were internally screaming. Not because of the movie, but because Dan was so close to you.

Sure, you had sat in between him and Phil within close proximity before like when you play video games. But this was much more...intimate?

You could barely focus as the movie went on. Dan's body heat resonated off your skin. Occasionally, with other scary scenes, Dan would sometimes grab onto your arm and you his.

_This is horribly cliché, but I like this,_ you said to yourself and your racing heart. _Thank you, Benedict_ _Cumberbatch_ _, for being so famous to where you sold out._

Perhaps it was all in your head, but you truly appreciated the fact that Dan felt comfortable and close enough to you to where he was okay with being physical. You never had this before with anyone else.

Glancing up, you stole a glance at the chocolate eyed boy who so handsomely stared in utter fright at the movie screen before him. The butterflies you felt at that moment was really out of place for the current situation, but frankly, you couldn't help it.

You smiled to yourself and returned your eyes to the screen, tempted to rest your head on Dan's shoulder.

_Should I? It would be..._ Risky? Pleasant? You were practically on each other, would it be horribly noticeable if you did?

_Well, I have to have something good to tell Phil about,_ you thought, recalling his 'sacrifice' for you. _All right, here I go..._

Inhaling deeply, you repeated the mantra of 'you only live once' in your mind and gently laid your head on Dan's shoulders. Your heart was pounding as you tried to determine what his reaction was, as you had very limited sight in that position.

You felt as though you couldn't breathe, well, probably because you were holding your breath. The movie continued on for what seemed like ages and Dan still hadn't moved.

_Is he okay with this then? Or did I make it awkward? Oh, god, I messed up, didn't I?_

You let out a quiet sigh and shut your eyes, just imagining how awkward it was going to be after the movie and on the way home. _I knew I shouldn't have done anything,_ you scolded yourself.

But then suddenly you felt a warmth on top of your head. Your eyes flew open and your brain tried to process what the feeling was. Straining to look up, you realised that it was Dan. He had relaxed and was now resting his head on yours.

You bit your bottom lip to try and stop yourself from smiling but it didn't work. You prayed Dan was too focused on the movie to notice.

Nothing could articulate the feelings you had in that moment. 


	7. Progress Meeting II

You were soaring by the time you got home. The number of butterflies flying in your stomach were insurmountable, but you didn't mind. You made progress, _actual progress_ , and you were happy. There wasn't a star in heaven that you couldn't reach.

After the movie ended, you and Dan decided to take a walk in the scenic part of town, just enjoying each other's company and talking about random subjects. It was cold and you had forgotten a hat, but you would not have changed it for anything.

You felt like you got to know Dan better now. His dreams, ambitions, views of the future...of course, you had to cut that conversation short before he had another existential crisis, but it was a good talk.

Being a Youtuber was somewhat of a foreign concept to you, you could never ever imagine yourself being one and having to deal with the fame. Though you also had a fanbase of sorts, it was targeted towards a very specific audience and you hid your face behind blog posts.

Sure, you had a profile picture, but that was it. Your interactions with fans was not as intimate like Dan and Phil. The thought of it almost scared you. You thought it was courageous and amazing for Dan to put himself out there like that on the Internet for all to see.

Overall, the night ended on a lovely note that you could not have imagined yourself.   
\-----

You and Dan had parted ways for no more than an hour or so when you heard a knock on your door. Still on a high from having a good time with him, you skipped to the door and pulled it open without a second thought. When you discovered it was Phil, you threw your arms around his neck and pulled him down for a hug.

"Phil!" you exclaimed, using your arms to pull him into your flat completely. 

"H-hello, (Y/N)!" he managed to say, sounding a little surprised. He stumbled over your threshold, laughing as he wrapped his arms around your waist and hugged you back. You used your foot to kick the door close. "I'm assuming the date was awesome?"

You released him from your hold, arms resting on his shoulders, and looked up at him with a twinkle in your eye, "More than awesome."

"I was getting a little worried," he said. "You didn't text me any updates at all."

"Well, that's because it was just going so smoothly, Phillip Lester, and I didn't have the time to text you," you said with a huge smile on your face. You gave him another tight hug before letting go. Phil let go of your waist and you turned to walk into your kitchen. "Do you want something to drink or eat?" you asked.

"Oh no, I'm fine, I just came over to ask how everything went!"

You grabbed a chocolate bar off the counter and pivoted, skipping back to your sofa and dropping yourself on it. You sprawled yourself across it . "Didn't Dan tell you?" you asked in a frivolous tone, happily unwrapping your treat.

Phil walked over and lifted your legs so he could seat down, resting them across his lap. "Well he did, but I wanted to hear your side too. It sounds like you made a lot of progress."

"Yeah, this is a nice contrast from the Starbucks Incident..."

For the next fifteen minutes, you told Phil in detail everything you and Dan had done for the day. The lunch, meeting Samantha, the horror movie, the walk home, and all the physical contact that was made. You felt closer to Dan more now than ever.

"Speaking of Samantha," you started, thinking back to the chance encounter. Your euphoria started to subside as you remembered how she and Dan acted around one another. They just seemed too...comfortable.

 _Almost flirty_ , you said to yourself. You instantly regretted that thought and shook it out of your head, not wanting to upset yourself after having such a good day.

 _It's all in my head_. Phil told me he wasn't interested in anyone.

"What about her?" Phil asked, waiting for you to continue.

"Oh! Right, sorry," you laughed softly. "She invited me to go to the party tomorrow."

"Ah, did she? That's funny because I was..." Phil's voice trailed off. You lifted your head to look up at him. "Oh, I was saying that that's funny because I was going to invite you. Too. Yeah, I was going to invite you, too."

You lifted yourself up so you were facing Phil at eye level, not bothering to move your legs. "Really?" you asked, pursing your lips together. "Isn't it just for Youtubers?"

"It doesn't really matter, to be honest," he shrugged.

"I'm a little hesitant..."

He turned to you, "Why?"

You glanced down, nibbling at your chocolate bar, "Remember the social anxiety thing I told you about..." you mumbled.

"Oh, (Y/N)!" Phil said your name with a reassuring tone, leaning his head sideways to give you a playful boop. "Don't worry about that, you'll have me and Dan!"

"Yeah, but..."

You looked up to meet Phil's blue eyes. You didn't really want to go, though Dan and Phil apparently wanted you to. It would be a nice opportunity to hang out with Dan again especially after today.

"Of course, don't come if you don't want to. Do whatever makes you happy."

You smiled, not saying anything, thinking. _What should I do? I shouldn't miss this chance because I'm afraid. What are the pros and cons to this?_

"...I'm indecisive," you admitted, sighing.

Phil nodded, "Well, how about this. Say you come, right? And if at any moment you decide you don't want to be there anymore, I'll leave with you. Matter of fact, I won't ever leave your side."

"Oh, Phil, you don't have to," you replied, almost surprised at his generous offer. He truly was a beautiful person with a kind heart. It put a smile on your face.

"It's not a problem at all," he said. "And besides, you don't have to make a decision now. You could sleep on it."

You shook your head, "No, I'll go."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. If I go, I can further our plan, right?"

"Pla--oh, yes! With Dan."

"And considering how you two are big Youtubers and we are friends, I should probably try to familiarise myself with some of the things you do and other Youtubers, I guess."

Phil nodded, a small smile on his face. "It'll be fun," he said. When you didn't respond right away he slowly raised his hands and made a heart.

Giggling, you raised yours and made a heart back. "Yeah, I hope so."

 


	8. After Party

You did not know at all what the expect, but you went in with the best attitude you could muster. There was some type of formal event beforehand that Dan and Phil had to attend, so you met up with them at the designated restaurant afterwards. Turned out this thing you were invited to was more of an after party.

When you arrived you texted the both of them and within minutes they came out to fetch you.

"(Y/N)!" Phil called out, waving.

"You made it!" Dan said, giving you a hug once he reached you.

They were both wearing suits, which you knew they would be, but the prior knowledge still didn't brace you for the sight. Two tall, dark, and handsome boys wearing black tuxedos - - these were your friends. They looked so slick and well, _good_.

"Wow, you guys look great first of all," you said, hugging them both.

"You're looking hella dashing yourself," Dan said, nodding to your little black dress.

"Oh this, this is something I just found in the back of my closet," you rolled your eyes in jest, grinning.

Phil gestured towards the restaurant behind him, "Let's go in, shall we?"   
\-----

Loud music, dimmed lights, and delicious appetisers welcomed you as you entered. You wanted to make a beeline for the food table but stopped yourself, thinking it'd probably be the best to meet some people first.

The place wasn't packed but had a substantial number of people, all well known Youtubers apparently. You scanned the room, trying to see if you could recognise anyone. The dimmed lights made it a little difficult.

"(Y/N)," you heard Phil say your name over the music. You turned to see him standing with Dan and a couple other people a few feet away from you. He motioned for you to come over.

Taking a breath, you prepped yourself to socialise. You walked over and Dan instantly spoke up to introduce you to the other guys they were standing with.

"(Y/N), this is--" he stopped himself and turned to Phil, "Should I give her their real names or just their Youtube handles or both?"

"What kind of question is that?" Phil asked with a confused smile. "Both, both is good."

"Right," he turned to you and gestured towards the others. "This is PJ, also known as KickthePJ. This is Zoe, also known as Zoella, and this is Chris, also known as Crabstickz - - with a zed."

You processed it all, nodding with each person he introduced. "Well, hello!" you gave a small wave. "I'm just (Y/N), I'm not a Youtuber like you guys."

Zoe returned your wave with one of her own, "Dan was saying you're a travel blogger though? That's so awesome!"

"Have you travelled much?" PJ asked.

"Not that much," you laughed before pretending to seem disappointed.

"Oh, don't be so humble," Phil said. "You've been to plenty of places!"

"I suppose..." you said, thinking about it.

You continued to converse with those three, with Dan and Phil contributing now and then. It was somewhat of a different situation you had there, you didn't feel too entirely overwhelmed or uncomfortable. Was it because Dan and Phil were there with you? Or because of the promise Phil made?

He was keeping it, by the way. As the two led you to meet other Youtubers like Connor Franta and Lily Singh, Phil stayed by your side the entire time. Thankfully, your worst fear did not come to be. Everyone was so welcoming and well, friendly. Your anxiety didn't kick in as you were expecting.

 _This is actually kinda fun_ , you smiled to yourself. _I'm glad Phil convinced me to come._

Dan was thoroughly enjoying himself as well and being a dork, dancing along to the music and singing to songs you didn't even know he liked. The way he interacted with the other Youtubers was quite unlike the Dan you knew before.

This Dan was even more playful and talkative than the one you were used to. You weren't exactly sure how to read this. _Perhaps he's just really enjoying himself, (Y/N), you don't always have to think into everything._

 _But he's obviously having a good time_ , you thought. _I hope he enjoyed himself this much when he was with me yesterday..._

Thankfully, Phil distracted you from the potentially detrimental thoughts. He introduced you to Louisa, whom you recognised from their videos. While Dan flailed about on the dance floor, the two of you decided to get a table and enjoy the refreshments that were available.

The table was tall with high chairs and had a nice red table cloth over it. _Is this silk?_ you asked yourself as you took a seat, eyeing it with curiousity. Personally you haven't been to too many fancy places, you never had a reason to, but also you didn't generally feel like you fit in with the bourgeoisie.

Tonight, however, was different and it felt nice to be in a lovely place with non-judgemental people.

"Hey, do you want something to drink? You must be thirsty after all that talking!" Phil asked, standing by you.

Dan made his way over to you and Phil, pulling out the chair on your left.

"Oh, thank you, Phil! That would be nice," you said, as a singing and dancing Dan took a seat beside you. You laughed, glancing his way.

"I'll be back in a second," Phil said before wandering off. Once he was gone you turned your attention back to Dan, who was currently lip syncing to Toxic by Britney Spears.

You laughed, looking at him. Dan turned to you and making hand motions to which you mirrored. "You're such a dork, Dan," you said over the music.

Dan went on, throwing his arms out and moving his torso to the beat of the song, "I can't hear you over my glorious dance moves, (Y/N)."

Before you could respond, suddenly another figure appeared on the other side of Dan.

"Rawr!" a female voice yelled playfully, reaching out and grabbing Dan's shoulder as if she was trying to scare him. You took a look and saw it was Samantha.

"Oh, Jesus!" Dan yelled, leaning back and elbowing you in the chest as a result of the scare.

"Jesus, Dan, what the hell!" you yelled, clutching at your breast as you leaned over in pain, groaning.

Samantha started laughing almost hysterically, "Oh my god," she said in between laughs. "I am so sorry, I'm so sorry. Dan, you idiot!" she said this teasingly as she lightly shoved his shoulder.

Dan turned to Samantha, "Hey, this is entirely your fault!" he turned to you next, "(Y/N), are you okay, oh my god, I don't have a good track record when it comes to elbowing people."

You rolled your eyes, "For crying out loud, Dan."

"Forgive me," he said, drawing out the last word in a pathetic moan. You scoffed before laughing yourself.

"I guess," you said.

Dan let out a relieved sigh, pressing a hand to his chest to make a point of it.

"I'm glad you could make it, (Y/N)," Samantha said, taking a seat in the chair next to Dan. "How long have you been here?"

"Not too long, less than an hour I'm sure," you replied.

Phil showed up then with some drinks, "Back!" he announced, placing them on the table. "Oh, hi, Sam!"

Samantha greeted Phil before filling him in on what had just happened with you and Dan, snickering the whole time.

"That sounds like something Dan would do," Phil said, chuckling. He pulled out the chair that was next to you and took a seat.

"It was an accident," Dan tried to defend himself, pretending to be annoyed though he knew his friends were just teasing him.

You put a hand to your mouth to cover your giggles.

"Now, now, Dan," Samantha said, leaning over and placing a hand on his arm. "Don't get so snappy like a five year old."

"Excuse you," he retorted.

It was all fun and games, but you couldn't help but notice how much Samantha was touching Dan. A part of you, admittedly, was slightly jealous. You brushed it off, however, to them just being really close. Different friendships have different levels of physical contact. Theirs was just excessive.

Right?

 _Don't over think, (Y/N),_ you reminded yourself.

"Did these two introduce you around?" Samantha asked, leaning over the table to look at you with a smile.

She was dressed in a dark red maxi gown and she had her hair down, she was stunning. For a moment you couldn't help but stare, but thankfully you caught yourself and answered her before things became awkward.

"Oh, yeah! Some," you looked around the room. "I met Connor, Zoella, Louisa, PJ, Lily, Chris..." you counted off the people you met and told her how you were enjoying yourself.

Samantha nodded, "That's great! Yeah, these types of parties are usually always really fun and everyone is so nice!"

She was a nice person, too, you thought it was kind of her to invite you. But...you just really got a weird vibe from her when it came to Dan.

 _Stop being paranoid_ , you scolded yourself.

"My only complaint is the low signal in this place," Dan said, pulling out his cellphone.

Phil pulled his out as well, "Yeah, it is pretty spotty in here. Only certain corners give you full bars or any bars at all."

You haven't bothered to check your phone since arriving.

"Dan, please, this is a party. You're supposed to socialise, not be on your phone," Samantha said this with a sly grin on her face. She reached over and placed a hand over Dan's phone to cover it before pulling it out of his hands.

"Noooooooooooo, it's my security blanket," Dan said, making a weak attempt to get it back. He flopped his arms in her direction, Samantha giggled the whole time as she evaded him.

 _Wow, they seem really close_ , you said to yourself, looking at them. You had a hollow smile on your face and pretended to laugh with them and Phil, but inside you felt uneasy.

For the next half hour or so, people came and went from your table. Dan and Phil introduced you to those you haven't met yet and you continued the cycle of meeting new Youtubers. Lily Singh in particular you thought was absolutely hilarious, you made a mental note to watch her videos when you got home.

The food was excellent and the variety of desserts really spoke to you on a spiritual level. You especially enjoyed the drinks. Now feeling it was appropriate, you stuffed your face at the table as Dan, Phil, and Samantha conversed on various topics such as Sims, DashCon, and Tumblr.

Before you knew it, any discomfort you had had was forgotten and you were enjoying yourself again.

"Dash Con was a horrible idea though, let's be real," Dan said as he took another sip of his drink.

"I thought it would have been nice actually," Samantha countered, looking at him.

"Except, I don't know, it was all a scam?" Dan said sarcastically.

Phil laughed at this, "Ignoring that thought, it would have been nice!"

Samantha slapped her hand on the table, "Thank you, Phil! Dan over here being all negative, as usual." She nudged him with her elbow to which Dan nudged her back as he scoffed.

 _I have no idea what they're talking about, but it's okay because I have food,_ you told yourself.

"Do you know where the bathroom is?" Phil asked suddenly, looking around.

"I think it's over there," Dan answered, pointing over Samantha's head to a corridor on the other end of the room.

"Ah, okay, be right back," he said, more so to you than the others as he watched you inhale another Swedish meatball. "Please don't choke."

You waved him off, "I do what I want," you said jokingly. Phil walked away, you eyes danced around the room as you observed your surroundings. Dan and Samantha were now engaged in a conversation about memes.

"I just don't understand why that green frog is funny!" Samantha said, sounding confused.

"Pepe?" Dan asked, laughing. "That's because you have to be one with Pepe to understand Pepe. Or are you talking about Dat Boi?"

Samantha turned to you, giving an exaggerated shrug, "Do you understand a single thing that is coming out of his mouth?"

You shook your head, unable to talk due to your mouth being full of food.

"See!" Samantha said to Dan, apparently kicking his foot under the table since Dan went 'ow!' and looked down. "I'm not the only one, you're just weird."

"Or maybe you're not hip with the youth!"

"I'm younger than you, you know!"

That uncomfortable feeling you had earlier had returned as you watched the two bicker in front of you like...well, like a couple. But surely, it was all in your head, wasn't it? Friends do this too.

So why were you so bothered?

Was it because Dan's body language was so open towards her? How their knees pointed to each other as they sat? How they barely had taken their eyes off each other since she arrived?

 _No, stay positive_ , you told yourself. Looking down at your paper plate you realised you ate all the food. This relieved you, it gave you an excuse to leave for a while to get more.

Trouble. That was trouble if leaving was a source of relief...

"I'm going to get more meatballs," you told them, standing up. You left and stacked your plate up with more food, trying everything out.

 _All right, (Y/N),_ you said to yourself as you scooped up more meatballs into your plate. _Calm down, why are you freaking out? Nothing has happened. Literally nothing has happened._

It was true, nothing happened at all really. Sure, Dan and Samantha seemed unusually close but... It's nothing to worry over.

You reminded yourself of how much progress you made especially yesterday with the 'date'. You reminded yourself of how happy you felt afterwards and that that's how you should feel now, because nothing has affected your happiness. Everything was the same.

With this in mind, you finished up and walked back to the table.

Perhaps it was obvious, perhaps it wasn't. Maybe you were looking for it, maybe subconsciously you already knew. But turning around to see Dan and Samantha holding hands under the table really wasn't something you were expecting, even if you did think they were a couple.

A feeling of disappointment and shock washed over you as you felt your heart drop.

 _Friends hold hands, too_ , you tried to tell yourself. But when you saw how Dan was gently caressing Samantha's hand with his thumb, you knew the reality of the situation.

You blinked, your mind slowly going blank. All you could do was stare, thankfully you were far away enough and they were too engaged in their conversation to notice you.

 _Is this really happening?_ you asked yourself, almost laughing at how surreal it all was. Had he been dating her this whole time? Did he just ask her out?

Whatever it was, clearly your efforts had gone to waste and the progress you thought you had wasn't really progress at all. The thought of Dan having been interested in Samantha the whole time, however, hurt you.

_Should I have done something differently? Am I really just not that interesting of a person?_

You weren't going to cry, but any energy you had before was gone and you really wanted to get away. You needed air to breathe, you needed to leave. You didn't want to be around them or anyone.

You wrapped up your food and returned to the table, Phil had also returned at that moment. After greeting everyone again you placed your leftovers in your bag.

"Oh are you leaving?" Samantha asked. Under the table, she and Dan were still holding hands.

"Yeah," you said weakly. "I got ready tired all of a sudden."

"What, we haven't even made it to the dance floor yet," Dan exclaimed. "I know you got moves, (Y/N)."

You attempted a laugh, a very fake laugh but hopefully it wasn't obvious. "Maybe some other time, we should all go out!" No, not really.

Phil gave you a concerned look but quickly replaced his expression with a smile, "It is getting a little late," he said. "I'll come with you."

"Awww, you guys," Samantha pursed her lips. "Okay, it was great that you could make it, though, (Y/N)! Let's hang out again some time!"

She jumped from her seat and walked over to give you a hug, which you returned. Dan did the same. The four of your finished saying your goodbyes and finally, with Phil by your side, you left the restaurant as quickly as you could.   
\-----

On the walk back you didn't say anything and Phil asked no questions. It was a cold, winter night, but in that moment the chilly air and winds did not bother you. Nothing could bother you as much as what you just saw. One little action that surely meant an end to the 'plan' you thought you had. A plan you probably never should have had to begin with.

_I was stupid to think I had a chance._

It started to snow. On any other night you would have thought that to be magical and breathtaking. You were in London, working for a job you loved, any girl would be happy to be where you were. _It's not the end of the world_ , you told yourself as you tried to cheer yourself up by looking at the brighter side of things.

He's just a boy, just another boy to add to the list of boys who never noticed you.

Maybe it was all in your head. Maybe there was nothing going on between them, they were just really close friends. You mentally scoffed at that thought.

_Don't kid yourself._

"Do you want to talk about it?" Phil asked, almost hesitantly, as he followed. He broke you out of your thoughts, for a moment you almost forgot that he was with you.

You simply shook your head, your eyes glued to the path in front of you. You blinked and shook your head again, trying to get the snow out of your face.

 _I just want to go home_ , you sighed, keeping an eye out for the nearest staircase to lead you to the underground.

"Okay," he said in a low tone, dropping the subject immediately. There was a few seconds pause before he said, "Just know, I'm here for you."

His words comforted you, though he did not know what had happened. You reached out and grabbed his arm, resting your head and bodyweight on him as you kept walking. You slowed your step and Phil did as well to match yours.

"Thank you, Phil," you whispered, hugging his arm.

Phil smiled and said nothing as the two of you continued to walk down the pavement in quietude.

 

 


	9. Confession

Days had passed since the party and you still weren't feeling all that well. As it turned out, Dan and Samantha really did have something going on. You knew because you actually asked Dan. Not in person, you couldn't dare to do it in person, so you decided to text him the next day about it. It was a question disguised with a veil of innocence so you didn't give yourself away, though you already knew the answer.   
\-----

You: _"So, Dan, u and Samantha, huh?"_

Dan: _"I don't know what you're talking about."_

You: _"Don't be silly, u two are obviously an item!"_

Dan: _"Are we?"_

Dan: _"Haha, just kidding. Yeah, we are."_

You: _"When were u going to say something! That's so cute! I'm happy for u"_

Dan: :) :) :) 

Dan: _"Uh, can you do me a favour though?"_

You: "???"

Dan: _"Keep this on the dl like shhh, please? It's sort of supposed to be a secret. >_<"_

You: _"Oh uh, I kinda already told all of my friends..."_

Dan: _"For Christ's sake"_

You: _"LOL JK I don't have any friends, Dan"_  

Dan: _"Pfft you're right, and I got all worried for a second there lol"_

You: _"Gee thx -_-"_  
\-----

Apparently his and Samantha's relationship, though extremely recent, was also a secret. With the recent Youtube drama going around and general chaos that came with being an Internet celebrity, Dan and Samantha both decided that it would be best to not reveal their relationship at all unless in certain spaces.

The party was one of them.

It would be an exaggeration to say you were depressed, but you were pretty sad. You weren't upset at Dan or Samantha, matter of fact you were happy for them. You just wish you could have found out earlier before you got so invested.

You were in your apartment, lounging in your living room when you heard a knock. You turned your head to stare in the direction of the door, contemplating whether or not you should go open it.

The person knocked again, and again, and again.

 _This has got to be Phil_ , you thought, walking over to open the door. And as a matter of fact, yes, it was Phil.

"Ah, I knew it would be you," you said monotonously before turning around and trudging back to your sofa.

"Hello to you, too," Phil said, coming in. "I brought some biscuits," he said, looking at the plate in is hands. "Made them the other day, I thought you might like some."

You didn't say anything as you settled yourself back down on your sofa and stared at the television screen in front of you. Phil went to your kitchen to put the biscuits away before coming to see you.

"So," he said slowly. "It's been days now and you still haven't gotten better. Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?"

"What makes you think I'm not doing okay?" you asked to tiredly.

"Uh, well," he held up a hand and counted off each finger as he listed his reasons. "Besides your obviously upset demeanour a few nights ago at the party, you haven't visited in a while and you haven't been online at all. Plus, you haven't replied to any of my texts--"

"Yes, I have," you interrupted.

"They were so empty, though. Like one word here and there."

You groaned and turned off the television. _Why am I even trying to argue with him?_ you asked yourself. _He's right, he knows something is wrong._

Phil sat beside you with a concerned expression, but he said nothing, waiting for you to say something instead.

"It's just that..." you let out a deep sigh and turned to face Phil completely, mentally preparing yourself for the information you were about to tell him. "Dan is--" you cut yourself off, not sure if Dan had even revealed his relationship status to Phil yet.

They were best friends so surely he must have by now, but also it wasn't your place to assume and accidentally tell Phil. You decided to rephrase. "Dan doesn't like me," you said, the words stung to hear out loud.

"Oh..." was all Phil could manage to say.

"It's okay though," you continued. "I'm not sure what I was thinking. Guys don't usually like me back, sometimes I wonder why I bother getting crushes at all."

"Thankfully, the world isn't ending, though? Remember what I said about being positive?" Phil said, tilting his head to the side with a small smile.

You nodded slowly, "Yeah... It's just that...things never go my way. It's not even the part about Dan not liking me, I'm okay with that. It's just that I wonder if something is wrong with me?"

"What do you mean? Absolutely nothing is wrong with you, (Y/N)!"

"Then how come I haven't managed to even gain one vaguely romantic interest? Like wow, no one has even flirted with me my entire life - - am I that appalling? That boring? Plain?"

Phil shook his head firmly, "(Y/N), you're not any of that."

"I feel so inadequate," you mumbled.

There was a small pause, as if Phil was thinking of something to say. You were so done with yourself, and though having a boyfriend was not even a priority in your life nor an obligation, sometimes you did wish for a significant other. Just to know what it would feel like to be doted on by someone who loved you entirely for who you were.

"You're better than toast," Phil said suddenly, his tone was sharp and abrupt, causing you to jump slightly in your seat.

"W-what?" you asked, eyebrow raised in confusion. _Did I hear him right?_

"You're better than toast," he repeated.

"Toast...?" you repeated the word to yourself, looking at him before you started to giggle at the absurd comparison. "Toast, Phil, really?"

"Yes?" he gave a sheepish grin.

Phil succeeded in making you laugh, in that moment you felt all right again. He was always good at making me feel better.

"Okay, Phil," you responded as your laughter died down. "Thank you?"

"Look," he reseated himself to completely face you as well, his tone becoming more serious. "There is nothing wrong with you," he said firmly, as though he really wanted you to understand what he was saying.

Not knowing what to say, you simply looked at him.

"Just because other guys don't like you doesn't mean something is wrong with you. You just haven't found the right person yet. Besides...never let other people determine your worth."

"You're right, Phil," you said. "I know you're right. I wish I could be as optimistic as you, but sometimes I just get tired. I feel like no one likes me."

"Well, I like you."

You smiled at him, "You know what I mean, silly. I feel like no one likes me like that."

"I do like you like that," Phil said quietly, looking down to the side.

"Wait, what?" you asked, your heart skipping a beat. _Did I hear him right?_ "Phil, did you just say...you liked me?"

His blue eyes glanced up to meet yours, "Yes. (Y/N), I like you."

You felt your face warm up immediately and your heart started to race, practically thumping out of your chest. _Phillip Michael Lester likes me?_ You repeated the thought in your head and was practically unable to process it.

"Since when?" you asked.

"Well, since I first met you," he answered with a bashful smile.

Your eyes widened, "Why didn't you tell me?!" you reached over and smacked his shoulder. "That would have been nice!"

"You were in love with Dan!" he said shrilly, pretending to flinch at your attack.

The realisation donned on you, "Phil, you offered to help me with Dan...even though you liked me?"

He nodded slowly, "Yeah, I just--I couldn't get in the way of that, and you looked so happy being around him. I figured if I could help you out, you'd be even happier."

"Oh, Phil," you said, touched by his thoughtfulness. "Why are you such a good person? But...why are you telling me this now?"

Phil's eyes suddenly widened and he brought his hands up, palms out towards you, "Wait, don't think this is me trying to catch you at your weakest moment or anything!"

You shook your head quickly, "Of course not!"

"Oh, thank goodness," he let out a sigh of relief and relaxed again. "I'm telling you this now because well, you just looked so sad and upset. And you seem to honestly think that no one likes you!"

"But you like me," you said this, unable to suppress your smile. You knew you were still blushing, and at this point Phil was too, but it was all right. You felt completely comfortable with him.

Phil nodded and chuckled some, "I like you. I just thought you should know that. And I truly am sorry about Dan..."

You waved your hand at the mention of his name, "Oh, it's all right. To be honest, I never put so much effort into pursuing someone before." You looked at him. "I wouldn't have gotten that far if not for your help though."

Phil bowed his head playfully, "I'm glad I could be of service."

The conversation faded into silence and you exhaled, "So you like me, huh?"

He nodded.

"You, uh, gonna ask me out?" you gently poked his arm twice.

"Oh, oh! Yeah," Phil responded as though the thought had just occurred to him. "(Y/N)," he said. "Will you be mine?"

"I'll need some time to get over Dan, would that be all right?"

Phil did not reject this idea at all, "Of course, that's understandable."

"The answer is yes though, Phil," you said. You could tell that Phil was trying to keep his excitement under control in light of you asking for some time to recuperate from Dan. It made you giggle.

Phil gave you a smile you haven't seen before, something warm and satisfied. You were glad he was so happy, as were you.

_Phillip Michael Lester and I, an item? Who would have thought..._


	10. Epilogue: Lovers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it! I hope everyone enjoyed it, I had a really fun time writing this fic. Please leave a comment, if you like, they're super encouraging and I'd love to get feedback so I know what to do next time and what to improve on. Thank you! ^_^

"Come on, (Y/N), or we'll be late for the train!" you heard Phil saying loudly from the corridor outside, he knocked on your door repetitively until you ran to open it.

"I know!" you said as you swung open the door, looking slightly disheveled. "But I can't find my book that I was going to bring to read," you quickly ran back into your living room to look for it, picking up everything in your sight to search for it.

Phil walked in with his small suitcase rolling in behind him, "Did you look under your bed?" he asked, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

You turned around to give him an odd look, "Why would I look under the bed...?"

"Because you have a really bad habit of accidentally kicking things under there," Phil said. "Sometimes I feel like things just magically manifest under there, to be honest."

He left his suitcase by the entrance and walked down into your bedroom. You watched him disappear before looking under the sofa seats.

"I just had it last night," you muttered to yourself. "Where could it have gone?"

You heard footsteps and looked up to see Phil by the entryway, holding the book you had been looking for this entire time. "What! Where did you get that?" you asked, rushing over to take it from him.

"Under your bed!" Phil exclaimed, "I just said so! It's a _really_ bad habit, you know, you should probably fix it."

"Oh, shut up, Phil," you snapped teasingly. "Thank you," you reached up and wrapped your arms around his neck to give him a hug. He returned it, but you cut the moment short by letting go and turning to put your book away in your backpack.

You threw it on your shoulders and grabbed your duffle bag, "Okay, ready, let's go!" The two of you exited your apartment and you closed and locked the door. After you put your keys away, Phil held out his free hand for you to take and you walked towards the lift together hand in hand.

A couple of weeks had past since Phil's confession and it was now a few days until Christmas. You were officially on vacation from your job until New Years, and since you weren't going back to the United States for holiday, Phil decided to invite you back to his hometown to meet his family.

You were ecstatic to have someone to spend Christmas with, but you were also slightly terrified to meet his family. Now as Phil's girlfriend, surely you had to make a good impression on them so they would like you.

"Did you call the cab?" you asked as the lift reached the ground level. Its doors opened and Phil led you out.

"Yup, it should be here already, according to the app at least..."

You nodded, "I trust you to not be a total screw up, Phil."

Phil glanced down at you with his usual sunny smile, "I try my best!"

You smiled back up at him and you found your way to the mostly empty streets of London, a cab was waiting just like Phil said. It was still dark out since it was early morning in the middle of winter. Something about it was calming to you, despite the shivers you had from the cold.

After packing your things into the trunk, you and Phil got into the backseat of the cab and Phil confirmed the destination with the driver. You made yourself comfortable and snuggled into his side as the driver started the drive to the train station.

"How are you feeling?" Phil asked you quietly.

"Terrified," you admitted with a soft laugh.

Phil reached over with a hand and gently brushed your hair back, "Don't worry, I'm sure my family will adore you!"

"I hope so... I'm going to be so sad if they don't."

"Don't think about it," Phil said. "But honestly, you have nothing to worry about, all right, (Y/N)?" he looked down at you when he said this, causing you to glance up as well.

"All right," you nodded, smiling.

Phil smiled back before resting his head down against yours.

Your cheeks felt warm, you knew you were blushing again. That smile of his, that was the smile that pulled you through your ups and downs. The one that always managed to somehow cheer you up, always somehow helped you see the brighter side of life.

The last two weeks went by like a whirlwind, you never thought you could feel so much for someone like how Phil made you feel. You thought your crush on Dan and any boy before was bad, but Phillip Michael Lester took you to a whole other level. Probably because, well, he was the first and only one to have had an attraction towards you as well.

Since you formally accepted to being his girlfriend, you had gone on several dates. They were fun filled occasions that didn't always necessarily mean going outside either. You were quite content with staying in with Phil and making pancakes, watching movies, and playing video games.

Phil made you feel comfortable being yourself, he made you feel loved. You didn't feel the need to hide anything from him at all, no need to dress a certain way, no need to pretend to like or dislike certain things.

He truly and utterly liked you for you.

And now you were going to spend your first Christmas in England with him, the New Years, and hopefully many years to come. Who would have known that this was how things would all play out?

In that moment, in that quiet cab, you could hear your heart thumping in your chest. It was almost surreal to think about, you and him, together.  You couldn't help but grin to yourself.

 _I feel so lucky_ , you thought, trying to suppress your ever growing smile and the butterflies in your stomach.

So what was it like being Phil's girlfriend? Well, it was amazing. After all, they don't call him AmazingPhil for nothing.

//The End. 

 


End file.
